Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Success! We fucked roommates!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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