He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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