Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
