Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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