I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Are we still banned from the library?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
