I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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