My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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