put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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