Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
