where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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