I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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