i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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