what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
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Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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