I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
