$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
