so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
