so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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