FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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