Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If I die, sorry about rent.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
