I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
