Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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