she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
