Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
