All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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