Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
