My friends, they love my intelligence
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
