I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
