So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
