I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
