ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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