Midget sex pt 2 tonight
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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