God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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