I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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