we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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