So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
