the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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