normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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