btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
