yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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