Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize