I think im going to throw up on grandma
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
