I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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