I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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