If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
