these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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