good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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