The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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