God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
