so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
