Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
