Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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