if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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