I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize