you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
