based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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