There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
