he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
worst night to have a conscience
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
