the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
