I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
